Step 1

Mindset: negotiation ≠ greed

They know more about their bands than you do. A polite, specific ask is normal professional behavior. Silence reads as acceptance. Bluffing fake competing offers reads as risk.

Step 2

What usually moves — and what rarely does

Often movable: base (within band), sign-on, start date, title (sometimes), remote/hybrid details, early review cycle.

Harder / rare: equity refresh math you don’t understand, breaking hard compensation bands, rewriting the entire role on day one.

Rank what matters to you before you ask for everything.

Step 3

Prep: BATNA, comps, priorities

  • BATNA — best alternative if this dies (another offer, stay, freelance runway)
  • Comps — use ranges honestly; uncertainty is fine; fake precision is not
  • Priorities ranked — cash vs sign-on vs flexibility vs title vs time

Step 4

The ask script (email + live)

I’m excited about the role and the team. Based on [scope / market / competing timeline], is there room to move base to $X (or add a sign-on of $Y)? I’m ready to accept quickly if we can land there.

Specific, brief, grateful. One clear ask beats a laundry list. Live: same content, slower, then silence.

Step 5

Handling “this is our best” and exploding offers

If it’s truly best, decide with your BATNA — don’t invent leverage. Exploding deadlines: ask whether a short extension is possible; if not, decide on information you have, not panic theater. Pressure is data about the employer too.

Step 6

Multi-offer ethics

You may say you have another timeline without fabricating numbers. Do not play employers against each other with lies. Accept one offer → withdraw cleanly from others the same day.

Step 7

Mistakes

Avoid

  • Negotiating too early (before a real offer)
  • Bluffing fake offers
  • Only optimizing cash when flexibility mattered more
  • Going silent after the ask

Done

Checklist before you sign

Done when

  • You know what is usually negotiable for this offer type
  • You asked without burning the relationship
  • You know when you would walk (BATNA clear)
  • Written terms match what you agreed verbally